My classroom called life…Kingdom lessons

My desire is to abide

Everything I never wanted… November 27, 2008

Filed under: Dreams,Hollywood,Ministry Stuff,Random,Revelation and Growth,testimony — charredsmore @ 9:12 pm

Recently I feel like Jehovah Sneaky is pulling a fast one on me, but I like it!  haha.  Seriously, I don’t even know what is going on with my life anymore.  If you were to ask me five years ago, “Where do you think you will be in five years?”  I NEVER would have thought this place.  But I am SO THANKFUL for where He has brought me.  I never would have chosen this life, but I am glad he has given it to me by His grace.

Here is just a short list of things the Lord is doing in my life right now, that seem totally opposite of what I ever wanted or desired.  But now, I don’t want anything else…but His will!

math1

  • I have been volunteering in the junior high (math classroom) for the past three years.  I wanted to use my degree, but not actually teach.  I NEVER EVER EVER thought I would want to teach in the public school system.  I really didn’t have the confidence or motivation for it.  After graduation I thought I would be on the mission field in some regard.  To bring you up to speed I have recently gotten my substitute teaching license and had my first two days of subbing (in the class I volunteer with) this week.  Guess what?  I LOVED IT!  I love teaching these students math, I love teaching them about life, I love teaching them about character development and life skills, I LOVE IT!  This is not even an easy school to teach in, the students have tons of baggage from their families and bring it all to school with them causing a dysfunctional environment for everyone.  Good thing I serve a BIG God who can take care of that. Check out the school’s report card to get a better picture of where the studetns are at academically.

    monies

  • I always told my parents not to expect me to make a lot of money, it has just never been important to me.  I have always wanted a job that was fulfilling and satisfying and more importantly where the Lord wanted me to be.  Of course, this is not always easy and living on faith certainly isn’t either, BUT is causes a deeper dependance on the King of Kings who owns EVERYTHING!  So, I believe I am a missionary here in Cairo getting prepared for the mission field in the marketplace.  I do believe that someday I will be wealthy or influence many wealthy people to GIVE to the KINGDOM (1 Timothy 6:17-19).  No, this is not something I just dreamt up one day, I believe the Lord has spoken it to me and confirmed it many times.  It is really not about the money, more about being a steward of His resources, and that get’s me excited.

holywood2

  • I have always been more comfortable around the poor, the broken, the “down and out” of society.  Rich, white people kind of intimidate me sometimes.  I know, that sounds silly, considering where I come from (White Bear Lake, MN).  That’s just how I work, I love connecting with and sharing life with these people.  No offense to wealthy whities, I just feel more comfortable around others.  This fits perfectly into what I thought I would be doing – heading straight off to the foreign mission field and ministering to the hungry, the dying, the needy, the thirsty, the naked, the prisoners, the widow, and the orphan.  All was well with Heather’s world, until the Holy Spirit spoke to her last Christmas about ministering in Hollywood.  WHAT?!?!  This was definitely not on my life plan.  That was for other people.  People who are into famous people, people who are into “what’s in and what’s out”, people who are into fashion, people who are knowledgeable about the “industry”, people who really have a heart and burden to reach the lost in one of the wealthiest and most influential places in the world…certainly NOT ME LORD!  I didn’t have a heart for them, usually I didn’t give a rip, or I would judge them based on the little I knew about their lives.  God you want me to do what?  I have always had a pull toward Cali, even ask my mom.  When I was younger I always wanted to go there and eventually live there.  Still not sure how it all works or what it will look like, that doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that God HAS changed my heart towards those rich white folks and the people who are in the industry.  They need Jesus just as much as the Maasai tribe in Kenya, Africa.  The Holy Spirit will take care of the rest.

music

  • Music.  I have always been self conscious about my singing voice.  It wasn’t until after my first summer with YouthWorks in Bramwell, WV that I realized I could actually sing out loud and people wouldn’t run away screaming covering your ears.  Seriously, I had issues.  Now, I LOVE singing and leading worship.  It is all about Him, not about me.  I am even in the process of recording my first CD.  WHAT?!? Never would I even consider this in the past.  Playing instruments has always been fun to me.  I grew up playing the trumpet from 5th grade to 9th grade, and boy do I wish I would have kept it up.  For all you youngsters out there ready to give up on band, think again.  It is such an amazing skill to have.  Recently, I have gotten back into playing my trumpet and am even helping some of the band students here in Cairo.  I have been playing guitar off and on for about three years.  My friend Anthony in town is teaching me how to play the piano/keyboard.  Praise God!  I felt the Lord speaking to my heart about learning to play many instruments and teaching them to children/teens.  This was totally NOT on my radar.  If anyone reading this would like to donate to the cause, give me a call – I am collecting instruments.

So, next time you say, “Oh, Lord, I will NEVER do _____________________,” think again.  That might be the VERY thing He wants you to do.  He never wants us to rely on our own “skill and gifting” but instead on His Spirit.

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