I realized it has been a while since I have written on my blog.  Many things have been happening, and I must take the time to update you as things are shifting at school and in my heart.  God is so good!

Recently I read a phrase in a book that just stuck to me and wouldn’t let go.  The specifics indicated that the scripture, “Jesus came to seek and save what was lost”, did not just indicate seeking lost souls, but all that has been lost in our lives.  I decided I needed to break this down a little and meditate on this for a bit.  After :looking in the online Webster’s Dictionary, here are some of the definitions found:

Seek:

 1 : to resort to : go to
2 a : to go in search of : look for b : to try to discover
3 : to ask for

4 : to try to acquire or gain

5 : to make an attempt

Save:

 transitive verb 1 a : to deliver from sin b : to rescue or deliver from danger or harm c : to preserve or guard from injury, destruction, or loss d : to store 2 a : to put aside as a store or reserve.

Lost:

1 : not made use of, won, or claimed
2 a : no longer possessed b : no longer known
3 : ruined or destroyed physically or morally : desperate
4 a : taken away or beyond reach or attainment : denied <regions lost to the faith> b : insensible, hardened <lost to shame>
5 a : unable to find the way b : no longer visible c : lacking assurance or self-confidence : helpless
6 : rapt, absorbed <lost in reverie>
7 : not appreciated or understood

8 : obscured or overlooked during a process or activity
9 : hopelessly unattainable

• Misplaced.  Relationships.  Time.  Treasures.  Talents.  Opportunities. 

After breaking this down, I started considering the reality of Jesus seeking and saving what has been lost in our lives.  He’s after lost souls for sure, but He’s also in the business of redeeming all other things that have been lost in our lives.

I am filled with peace, hope, and joy as I reflect on this truth.  Thank you Jesus for coming to seek and save me and all the things that need redemption in my life.  I am expecting to see movement on those lost things that will be rescued in my life. 

Thank you King of Glory!

Hanging decorations at Bennet Elementary School, I never imagined the sight I would see afterwards when I went to my car.  It was parked right outside the school, right under a light.  The light shining into my car, illuminating the purse sitting in the back seat.  Yes, I should have known better!  I should have hidden the purse, or at least brought it in with me to the school.  I just don’t always think of those things.  Call it naivety, or something like that, perhaps I like to think the best of people and assume the best.

Standing in glass, I realized I was standing on my window, crushed in tiny little pieces. Yes, my driver’s side backseat window had been smashed out with a brick.  The brick had been thrown so hard, it hit the opposite side panel and crushed the door handle.  Paint chips and scratches were on the outside door panel.  Awesome.  Just two days before my best friend’s wedding and I have to deal with this mess.  I was mad.  Not only did I have to take care of the mess and get my car fixed up, my purse was gone. 
I’m not really that shallow, but I really liked my purse.  It was something my mom bought me at a thrift store and was brand new.  Also, my wallet with all my credit cards, checks, and of course no cash (I never have cash on me).  Oh, and my camera that my sis gave to me at Christmas.  It had about 500 pictures and 20 videos on it, along with yearbook pictures for school.  One more thing, my super cute lip gloss that I had just splurged on a couple weeks ago.  I hardly ever buy expensive makeup.  Aaaahhhhh!  Melissa called the police, who’s station is only a block away from the school, I cried a little, prayed and had to let it go.  Here it was my best friend’s wedding in 48 hours and I wanted to enjoy THOSE moments, not think about my sucky situation.  We choose what our minds will fixate on. 

Sure, I called my bank, credit card companies, wrote a police report, and had to settle things with my insurance company…we do what we need to do.  People kept telling me since it was vandalism, it would probably covered 100% by Progressive.  Hmmm, not the case.  Apparently this falls under “comprehensive”, which the deductible is set up by the customer, based on what they want to pay each month.  The reason why I am giving so much information is because I NEVER thought this would happen to me and so I had a $500 deductible.  Bad idea.  I could have had a $50 deductible for only $9 more each month.  I believe it is worth it!  For sure!  Also, I added roadside assistance for only 50 cents per month.  That’s right I did say, 50 cents per month.  That’s a better deal than AAA in my opinion.  Friends, I encourage you to check out your policy, see what it covers, ask what the change in price would be for a lower deductible.  It’s not like Health Insurance where you can just rack it up for the year either, each separate incidence, you will have to pay a deductible.  Perhaps you already knew that, I have never had to claim anything on my auto insurance.   

Here is the current situation:

I have a guy working on the car, Jim -E’s Auto Body Repair.  He’s a great guy, his brother is my neighbor at school, his classroom right next to mine.  He came out late on Thursday night and wrapped my window in plastic so my interior would be protected from the elements, and so I could drive it a little bit without freezing my butt off.  That was super helpful!  Once I got my rental situation all figured out, I dropped off my Prius and he said I should have it by next Tuesday.  No big deal.  The insurance guy cut the check, which ended up being $1830, and I owe my stinkin’ $500 for someone elses sin.  God is good though and there have been little blessings along the way.  One of my friend’s handed me $100 and said, “The Lord told me to give this to you.”  Talk about obedience!  Thank you Jesus!  I also received a couple reimbursement checks from Two Rivers.  Another couple of friends bought me a wallet just like my old one!  WOW!  Too much!  I am blessed.  Now, I am praying redemption on the camera and lip gloss situation, and I want my digital files back too!  Know what I’m saying? 

I almost forgot to tell you another piece of the puzzle.  An acquaintance called me at school to let me know she picked up a letter of mine.  I was confused until she told me the address on the letter.  Of course, it had been in my purse, I was ready to send it out and it had been tossed in the wind when the thief stole my purse.  Why would they want that?  She found it along the path that many people walk when going to and from McBride housing project, which is right by the school where my car had been parked.  Hmmm…she also said she saw business cards and other random objects that were in the purse.  I am so glad she called!  I went over after school to investigate.  No, I didn’t find my purse or anything valuable I had within it, but I did find some business cards of contacts I had in my purse.  If you know me, you know I tend to collect business cards wherever I go, I am always meeting new friends. This was good, I picked them up one by one, soaked, dirty, and limp.  Haha, I had to laugh at myself as I was investigating the field.  I was hoping for more clues. 

No, I don’t think it was personal.  Most people know what vehicle I drive, along with my students, but at this point there is no reason to think it was a personal attack on me.  The kids at school didn’t even know anything about it, and if one of them was involved, news would travel fast and I would know about it.

I’m driving a really unique looking vehicle, I had to pick out the most unusual one at Enterprise.  Since they didn’t have a bright yellow Mustang, I chose the vibrant red HHR 2009 with only 400 miles on it.  Yea!  I am driving a red refrigerator box on wheels!  Hey, it’s a great car, I am just looking forward to getting mine back.

In closing, I want to thank God for His redemption story in this tale.  I know it is still being worked out and I am thankful for yet another opportunity to trust HIM!

John 10:10

I Believe Dance Scene from movie “Honey”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHYXAhJWk1U

I Believe lyrics (Yolanda Adams)

They said you wouldn’t make it so far a a
And ever since they’ve said it its been hard
But never mind that night’cha had to cry
Cause you had never let it go inside
You worked real hard and you know exactly what you want and need so believe
And you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say

[Chorus:]
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe

Your fools are justes singing, your soul aha
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your cares and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside again the pain
It just start to believe

[Chorus]

[Rap passage]

At third my yet what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams I will believe
Even though it seems it’s not for me
I won’t give up, i’ll keep it up
Looking to the sky
I will achieve on my knees
I will always believe

[2x chorus]

This movie has been stirring in my heart for ’bout a week now.  The movie is about a humble farmer and his family moving on faith to plant potatoes during a drought season in order to reap an unlikely harvest.  The thing is, the Lord had recently encountered this farmer and his family.  They were now living their lives to please their Maker, not themselves.  They were now living their lives operating not based on sight, but faith. 

 He felt the Lord had prompted him to plant potatoes, even though the soil was dry as a cork, even though it did not seem possible that potatoes could grow.  The other farmers mocked and thought, “What’s the point?”  He moved in faith.  At the end of the season, the farmer went out with one of his hired men and they dug up the ground with timid pitch forks to observe the harvest.  What they saw brought tears, dancing, rejoicing, and HOPE.  They had potatoes!  Yes, in the midst of a dry season, they had potatoes!  WONDERFUL!  FABULOUS! 

As I watched there were many parallels in the spiritual realm to my life here as a missionary/teacher.  You see, a potato must be sown into the ground in order to reap a potato.  I had to sow my life in this community, lay it down.  Lay down expectations, lay down what I wanted, lay down what I thought I knew or could do.  I had to lay my little potato self down in order to see a harvest.  There’s lots going on underneath the soil, but you don’t see it until harvest time.  That’s what it’s like here in Cairo.  I KNOW there is a LOT going on in the spirit realm, but it is hard to see.  I know our harvest time is coming soon, when the Father will tell us to start digging up those beautiful potatoes we have been waiting for for four years.  Yes, I long for the day!  I look forward to that day with anticipation and excitement.  I believe it is coming soon.  When all other farmers (of worldly passions) will look upon us Kingdom Farmers with mockery, “How could potatoes possibly grow up from that dry ground of Cairo?”  Believe it or not, you will see a harvest of potatoes!  I believe!

 The whole community will enjoy this harvest of potatoes, just like in the movie.  They all came out to enjoy the produce from this humble farmer’s field. 

Let’s believe for potatoes this year!

Freedom.

What does this word mean to you?  Many different meanings to many different people.  Ask the same question to people of different cultures, people of different lands, people facing different kinds of struggle…

I ask you, “What does freedom look like for your life?”  “Are you free?  Really free?”

Hmmmm…this is the type of question that you ponder.  Don’t answer right away.  I’m not talking about that Sunday school answer either.  The one you know I want to hear.  I am talking about getting real with yourself.  I’m not even talking about a collective type of freedom either.  Not the type we blanket over our country, community, church, or even family.  I’m talking, the up close and personal freedom for YOU. 

So, I ask again, “Are you free?”  Just think on that for a moment, or two or ten.  I know I need to do the same. 

Where do we find freedom?  What brings freedom?  Is it given to us?  Do we achieve it ourselves?  Is it lasting?  Do we maintain it?  Is there a cost?  Is it expensive?  Do we experience it daily?  Can we experience it every moment?  Are there different kinds of freedom?  Can you be in a situation that doesn’t really appear to have freedom written all over it, and still be free in your heart and spirit?  Can people who are oppressed be free?  Do some give the illusion of freedom, but really they are in a prison of their own mind or spirit?  Can anyone rob you of your freedom?  Can real freedom last?

Last night, I reflected on this past year.  The ups, the downs, the total turn arounds.  God is good.  There have been so many things that have shifted for me…in my mind, my spirit, my heart, and even circumstances.  I am thankful.  As I reminisced and played back the memories…this song rang in my heart from the musical, “Rent”.

Seasons of Love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes – how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes – how do you
measure a year in the life?

In  May I was able to travel up north to be a part of Stacy’s wedding.  Stacy and I  met while on a summer project with Campus Crusade for Christ in 2002 in Boulder, CO and have remained good friends ever since.  I am so blessed by her relationship with Tim…in many ways. 

This was the 8th wedding I have had the privilege to be a bridesmaid in.  Not quite 27, like the movie, but eight.  It is a wonderful thing to have so many close friends that would ask me to witness their special day.  God creating a covenant between man and woman.  I love it!  I love seeing love displayed.  Not that mooshy kind of love you see in the movies either.  That’s not real.  Go on a couple romantic dates and end up in bed together.  That’s not real love.  Real love is sacrifice.  Real love is patient.  Real love respects.  Real love waits.  Real love places the other person first.  Real love is a CHOICE not a feeling.  Sure, there will be attraction, there will be sparks and maybe even some fireworks.  But, come on…what happens when you wake up next to this person after 1o years and you are no longer feeling all those butterflies and magic?  Yea, you choose into love. 

You “choose in” to this relationship that you committed to. 

Is it difficult? 

You bet. 

Is it probably the hardest relationship you will ever encounter? 

Absolutely. 

Is it worth it? 

I think so. 

Then again, who am I to answer, I am single.

I will wear my ninth bridesmaid dress this fall when my beautiful roommate Stacy gets married to her wonderful fiance, Jesse.  (I just realized I will have been in three consecutive weddings for my good friends/sister who share the name ”Stacy” – interesting.)  Stacy and I have been roommates and best friends for about five years.  It’s crazy to think that I have had the same roommate for that long and in different states.  Oh, this friendship has been put together by God…I will have to write a seperate blog about that. 

Back  to my original thoughts on love…I am amazed at the orchestration of God in how He puts people together.  It is amazing to watch.  Have you ever seen Him bring two people together…two people that compliment each other so perfectly?  I have.  It’s fascinating. 

To those 8 (and soon to be 9) sisters that have asked me to stand and witness your marriage being established…I love you.  I am thankful for you.  I am standing with you in prayer, trusting that God will allow the places of intimacy between you and your husband grow and mature, as you grow in the love with the Lord.  I pray He is on display in your love.

As I shared bits and pieces of my testimony with the students, their eyes were wide and some of them had open mouths. 

 ”Who is this girl you are talking about?”

 ”Yea, I feel like I am talking about a different person…” 

During our LifeSkillz class that Coraviece and I are conducting in Mounds and Cairo, we have opportunity to teach the students about a lot of cool stuff.  I am amazed at how this has all worked out.  I mean, come on…I was about to meet with a group of teen girls this summer and do exactly that – teach them about positive decision making, myths of drug use, peer pressure, sex, STDs…and now I can actually get paid for it.  Praise Jesus!

God opened the door for me to share a little about some past experiences.  My only hope is that they learn from my terrible mistakes and make better ones.  Also, that they would see the glory of God in my life.  That He is the one that turned me around. 

After LifeSkillz, one of the gals was helping us unload our stuff at Cora’s house.  We got to chatting about quite a few things.  She asks us why we are so concerned about what the teens are doing. 

“Why are adults always giving advice, can’t we just learn from our OWN mistakes?”

 I began to share with her how I grew up in the church and yet didn’t understand who Jesus was and why he died on the cross and why that mattered in my life.  I told her that IF an older woman would have come into my life to share the truth about Christ, maybe I wouldn’t have made such poor decisions.  I told her with passion, how much I loved her and wanted to see her make good choices and not suffer the consequences that I faced as a teenager.  We talked about a lot of things and prayed before we left.  Overall, I am just in awe, watching God touch the lives of these teenagers. 

It is just beautiful. 

Please, continue to pray for these teenagers.

“Summer, summer, summer time.”  That Fresh Prince song is running through my mind right now…only 1 week left of school!

I have realized what a gift it has been to work this last quarter at the Cairo JR/SR High School.  Of course I never would have thought of this in my five year plan, but I have tried to throw those types of ideas to the Holy Spirit and be lead by Him and not my own thoughts or imaginations.  Not that ideas or personal aspirations are a bad thing…but when it comes to expectations in life, I have learned to follow the leading of the Lord and not my personal goals.  I have never been disappointed.  At the time it doesn’t always seem to make sense or even be the most desirable option…but it is always the most rewarding.

I have learned a bit more of the “ins and outs” of CJSH, students really will test you and push your buttons (even when they have known you for the past four years as a missionary), pencils are a hot commodity, and bringing a positive attitude to school affects the whole day.  I feel that I have a lot more to learn, but am thankful for the expeirence I was given to finish this year with the students.

As for a quick update:

1.)  I have been hired to work Summer School, without even applying.  Ha!  I love how the Lord hooks me up like that.  Come on!

2.)  I have officially been hired to work as the Jr. High Math Teacher for next year.

3.)  I turned down the opportunity to teach in Korea (over the summer for a month), which seems funny because everything about it “seemed” perfect.  I really didn’t have a peace about it, didn’t feel the glory on it and had to turn it down.  I know there are specific assignments for me here in Cairo and the states.

4.)  Praying about getting another job or two.

5.)  Hoping to travel a little bit before school starts – going back up north to visit the fam. and friends and maybe a little trip somewhere else too.

6.)  Learning PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE!

7.)  God is opening up doors at the school.

8.)  Still praying for surprises.

In only a few short months, I could fill a book with the wonderful lessons I have learned through my teaching experience at Cairo Junior/High School. It’s ’s a God given assignment…therefore I know I am in the right place at the right time.  True, some days I want to run out of that building, never to return, but I am learning how to deal.  Those days are slipping away.  The students are interesting…the things they face on a daily basis most of us wouldn’t understand.  They cope, they deal, they struggle, they complain, they wine, they fuss…for most of them this is all they know.  It’s all they’ve seen modeled to them in their homes and community.

If your environment growing up was this town….if this is all you saw…how would you know any different?  Their norm has shifted.  Cairo has somehow become their normal.  Cairo Jr/High School has somehow become their “normal”.  From generation to generation these ideas of “normal” have been passed down.  Sad.

For those who have not yet visited Cairo, you are probably wondering what I am referring to as “their norm.”  Come on over and see for yourself.  I began to type some examples, then thought better of it.  I need to take some of my own advice.  On the top of my chalk board, I have written “SPEAK LIFE.”  The students are so accustomed to speaking negative things to each other and over themselves, that I wanted to encourage and remind them to speak words that bring light, life, love, and encouragement.  SO, I must do the same.  There is a balance of speaking things that are true and things that ought to be, I shall SPEAK LIFE. 

Praise the Lord that each day in my classroom is a day of refinement.  Hopefully for my students…but definitley for me.  I am more aware than ever of my actions and words.  Each day my words and actions are on display for over 50 students to observe and I must be on my toes.  At times when I want to be funny I get sarcastic…this is getting refined as I see it is not always beneficial.  There is a balance.  At times when I get frustrated at the students, it is easy to get angry in my spirit…I must choose unconditional love.  Of course there is discipline.  I mean, without discipline, we would be quite rebellious doing our own thing.  There is discipline in LOVE from the Father, I am learning from Him how all that blends together. 

I am learning to love.  That 1 Corinthians type of love.  Love that does not hold a records of wrongs.  Each day the students come back into my class, I try to have a fresh perspective, new mercies.  Of course, this is difficult, but by God’s grace I try.  Love that is not boastful or proud or rude.  Love that leads to repentance.  I want to overflow the Father’s love in my classroom to my students.  They sometimes have a hard time understanding or accepting that love.  I guess we all do.  I mean, when we do wrong and someone loves us still…that leaves us questioning.  It leaves us squirming.  It leaves us speechless.  No words can describe how we comprehend God’s love for us.  Even when we were God haters, sinners, corrupt from our flesh…

He poured out His wonderful love,

                            He spilled his blood for us to live a life with Him FOREVER. 

                                                     Incomprehensible. 

                                                                         That’s the kind of love I want to flow in everyday. 

Let me be a vessel for you to pour your love out Lord.  Let me yield to you.  Let me speak LIFE.  Let me be your bright shining light for others to be drawn nearer to you Lord.